it’s insulting how dumb you think i am. come on, give me some credit. i’m not stupid; i can see everything you do and everything you don’t. as if keeping things from me keeps them from happening. oh wait, it’s just to make yourself feel better about all this? lying to my face and keeping secrets is the best way for you to be comfortable with this? i’m sorry, let me cater my life perfectly just to suit you. forgive me for ever thinking my feelings matter. how do you expect to keep me close while backing me further into a corner and doing the very things that you know very well resonate deepest with me?

ugh. sometimes you make me sick.

cause i’m waiting to waste the best of me on the best of you, and i’m tired of everything in between.

it’s frustrating to see you take people for granted. it seems everyone can see what you’re doing except you. you’re not being a good friend, you’re not being considerate, you’re not being understanding. you use and befriend people when it’s convenient for you. you’re nice because it makes you feel better; they’re just too naive and blinded to see past you. you jump from person to person, from group to group without regard for those around you. and when things break down, it’s on to the next poor and innocent soul to fulfill your need of being wanted and sought after.

i feel sorry for people who don’t know you as well as i do and who haven’t known you as long as i have…because i can put up with it. but those around you just see your shallow attempts at sincerity, and i don’t blame them. i understand that we’re all looking for people to get along with..i really do. but please don’t complain about how things don’t work out when i don’t see you taking any responsibility. people aren’t here to be thrown away and used at your disposal. we’re not here to be replaced whenever things fall apart and you’re too selfish, ignorant, and self-righteous to recognize that you’re part of the problem, much less do anything about it.

please don’t take this wrongly. your actions don’t affect me…but they do affect people i know and care about, and i’m just tired of seeing what you’re doing to them. i appreciate your efforts and thoughts, but can’t you realize that you’re just going about this all wrong? people aren’t machines you can learn to operate from a user’s manual. we aren’t trophies you can keep on your wall as accomplishments and accolades, and we’re not books you can look up and reference at your discretion. being a true friend is not an exact science, it’s not a geometrical proof, it’s not a weekend job. sorry to burst your bubble but it takes time, effort, and sacrifice. so quit trying to cheat…there are no shortcuts.

i can see now why you rub people the wrong way…you’re manipulative and oblivious to it. when’s the last time you asked yourself why do you do the things you do? is it for recognition, for him/her to like you just a little bit more? is it to make yourself feel like you’re being a good friend? is it to make yourself feel compassionate and loving and thoughtful?

for once, please just do yourself (and me) a favor and take a step back to see how your actions affect those around you. that is, if you truly care as much as you say you do.

whatshouldwecallmedschool:

this was me today. sigh.

i’ll keep chasing it, i always will
sooner or later i swear, we’ll make it there.